Resolving Dilemmas

Dilemmas are commonplace experiences in people’s lives, and are generally dealt with in a similar manner by all of us. We look at the situation as a problem to be solved and consider the two primary options available to us. (Note: sometimes there seem to be more than just two options from which to choose, but the dynamics and effective response apply regardless.) Typically each of the options hold satisfactory possibilities but unsatisfactory side effects as well. The artist who wants to quit a job that offers great pay, but little in the way of creative opportunities is faced with an obvious dilemma: keep your financially secure job but feel emotionally dissatisfied, or follow your emotionally rewarding creative impulses but risk financial instability. The person who wants to leave an emotionally barren partnership for a more “loving” relationship, must decide whether  it’s worth it to leave a happy, harmonious family situation. Any dilemma with an emotional component — which most dilemmas include — is always difficult to resolve, and people can find themselves stuck in them for years! The stuckness is usually caused by the individual’s fear of making the “wrong choice”, one which will diminish, or even ruin” their enjoyment of the road they chose to travel.

However, like all human problems, dilemmas were not created to be solved or figured out, but rather exist as an opportunity to help us grow up emotionally and spiritually. This growth (or expansion in acceptance, awareness and appreciation) is initiated by the individual who sees that trust is their best and only true option.

Trusting life can be most difficult experience for. It starts with trusting your heart when confronted by an emotionally charged dilemma. Engaging your mind to figure out an answer, or thinking that one of the two possibilities IS the right answer, keeps you far away from the voice of your heart. Acknowledging that you don’t know what is best, and being willing to accept either possibility – or neither – puts you in a position of receptivity to your heart’s voice. It’s as loud as your readiness to hear it.

The least effective response is wrestling with the story and trying to figure out how to control what happens next. That enhances the stress of anxiety and doubt, which create a loud static noise that deafens you to your intuition. Also, anxiety and doubt are frankly no fun at all.

Let me emphasize this point:

Trust = fun and ease.

Anxiety and doubt = no fun at all, and struggle.

The idea that you personally can control the outcome of any dilemma is an extremely stressful proposition, as it carries with it the fear that you might make the wrong choice, which would impact you for the rest of your life. What a torment!

Therefore, since dilemmas do not exist to put you in the position of making any choice, much less a wrong one, you don’t have to torment yourself the next time one occurs in your life. Relax. Trust. Wait. There is a much greater opportunity available than the chance to figure out the “right” answer. There is a significant opportunity to grow in wisdom, joy, and ease.